Devil's Advocate

Don't you hate the Devil's Advocate? This post is to inform you of the truth about the D.A.

For many years it was thought that they have a problem with arguing. They must disagree with whatever is said, even if it is over the most trivial of life instances. But the problem actually stems from something far deeper.

Take for example you are arguing about, lets say, pop culture icons using their image to hammer the thoughts of the left into your skull. Say, you spent six bucks on a movie or $70 on a cable bill and all you get is John Stewart making ignorant cracks at the president, the network news reporting half the story, and Alec Baldwin's mug everywhere. Lets just use this as an example.

So, you are arguing with some D.A. about this fictional situation and you actually win the debate. You get the D.A. to concede by saying, "you are right." It would appear that everything is fine and dandy and that this advocate of the devil has been sent back to hell. But then, out of nowhere, the same damn argument pops up later, using the same failed points as last time.

All the above does is set me up to my conclusion. And that is, the Devil's Advocate doesn't have a problem with arguing. Instead, they have a problem with not being able to shut the fuck up. When they appear to concede, what really happens is that they thought of something else they want to talk about. Something else they can bother their friends with.

What you need to do to help these people is make them quit cold turkey. Capture them, lock them in a dark and wet basement with duct tape over their mouth, and leave them by themselves for a week. Repeat if necessary.